Primo Corporation

Hey there. This is Linus Primo. I wanted to take the opportunity to message you personally to say that unfortunately this time, you did not succeed in your application to transfer to Head Office here at Primo Central. I know this must come as a disappointment to you as this is your… *fifth*…application.

We’re into the second episode of Electric Dreams and you might be pleased to learn that we’re in space and Earth is a mess of unsurvivable sulphur storms and radiation. Hi-fives all round. Space tourism is the name of the game and Jack Reynor and Benedict Wong are your tour guides on the Dream Weaver 9 spacecraft. And they absolutely hate you. As jaded as they are, Brian Norton (Reynor’s character) is deeply affected by a 342 year old woman who offers the two lads money to the effect of 5 years of salary to take a weekend break away to Elk River Falls in (North) Carolina. Her grandmother told her many stories of the place and it’s her dying wish. No further spoilers, your honour.

So, Primo Corporation. What’s that about? Well, they’re an organisation that runs the universe. On screen you can see visual references to Primomail, mentions of Primotels, Primobility and you can order a Primobellini. They even have planets named after them (Norton was born on Primo 76). Think Amazon or Google but times a million. The head of the company – the aforementioned Linus Primo – is a suitably tasteless, garish and smarmy non-entity, very much like the modern day billionaire.

What’s funny is that mole-faced sweatshop leviathan Jeff Bezos actually went into space off his own back, didn’t he? With Captain Kirk. For about eight seconds. Great work for a lad that started off flogging hardbacks on the internet. I usually try and keep out of the old politics here but I’d just like it on record that I pray for the day this planet becomes nothing but a spinning lump of white hot coal while these insatiable, sociopathic husks are running the show.

Sorry about that. I don’t know what came over me. What I really meant is please buy a thousand t shirts so I can go into space with Jeff Bezos please thanks.