Colon: Kick in the Sun

The corporate whores of the music biz are on their backs with their legs wide open, praying for Colon to show them just how dangerous music can be. Like a one-hand grenade going off in a convent.

At the time of writing (August 2024), Oasis had made an announcement that they would be touring for the first time since 2009. So they were at the forefront of my mind for this one. If we’re honest, Colon – making an appearance on The Fast Show’s ‘Indie Club‘ – bear more of a resemblance to The Beautiful South than Oasis (with what appears to be a very young Tony Way doing his best Paul Heaton).

But no matter. The whole point of the sketch is to send up the preposterous over-hyping of anyone even moderately Britpop during the mid-90s. Everything was cutting edge, everything was blisteringly visceral and everyone was a pioneering visonary. Obviously it mostly wasn’t any of that. I mean…it was fine, don’t get me wrong. Just Northern Uproar aren’t GG Allin, you know?

So that’s pretty much what you’re getting here. A swirly Union Jack type thing to remember the hideousness of ‘Cool Britannia’. It features in a bass drum on the ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger‘ single cover, so I thought it apt. As it goes, Oasis did put a lot of effort into their covers back in the day.

I never fully got Oasis as a band, you know. The magnetism of the Gallagher brothers I completely accept but Guigsy, Bonehead and Tony McCarroll all looked like they were trying to move as little as possible and didn’t really want to be there.

The least ‘mad for it’ lads you could possibly imagine.