SuperKarts

I’m not interested. I’m making shit loads out of computers.

We’re back in Berkshire and Tim Canterbury is getting a firewall installed on his / Wernham Hogg’s computer. The person doing it is Garth Marenghi. Or actually, someone who’s somehow even more insufferable than Garth Marenghi. Given that he’s on screen for approximately 200 seconds, this is quite the achievement. His name is Simon and you will know someone like him. No matter what you try and say, they will have an answer for it. Or an anecdote that outweighs yours. If you say you went somewhere on holiday, they will have already been there and done it better. If you state that you’ve just bought a car, they will own a more up to date model. They’re basically Facebook but made flesh. If people still use Facebook.

And that’s where SuperKarts comes in. I don’t know if they use CamelCase, but nuts to it. Gareth (not Garth) says that he’s recently been go-karting, won first prize and received a certificate for his efforts. Yet the last time Simon went the owners were so impressed with him they exclaim that he should go professional, take up Formula 1 and become the best driver in the country by doing so. It’s honestly the most pure and concentrated, knuckle-bitingly awful three minutes in the whole history of the show.

The logo here is more based on American stock car racing than go-karts. I did do some research into the go-karting industry but there isn’t really anything particularly globally known – what I found is that a lot of them have very, very similar logos. Kind of ‘futuristic for the 90s’ fonts, italicised with a lot of red white and blue. And a great deal of them are Italian. Weird that Italy would be involved in any sort of motor racing, hey.

Personally, my go-karting career only streches as far as a SNES game released in 1992. Toad was always my preference due to the acceleration, but I’m pretty sure that marks me down as a very basic and amateur player. I’m sure Simon’s choice would be Bowser or Donkey Kong but could easily win with any player.