Mumbo Jumbo’s

Smell the stale beer. I love it! Here we go. ‘Surprise TV Personality’. They haven’t put it’s me here, which is annoying. My fanbase won’t know I’m on.

The physical location of Mumbo Jumbo’s isn’t clear. You would assume Slough, but as Malibu’s is in Bracknell and David Brent has a fanbase that stretches as far as Winnersh, we can’t be sure. There’s Reading, Aldershot. You know, I’ve got Didcot, Yateley. Taplow.

Now, you do *sort of* see the MJ logo on a couple of promo posters in the show, but it’s committing the heinous design sin of using a specific font as the base for its logo and then using the same font pretty much everywhere else. I urge you to try and find it, because it’s spectacularly 2003. As you can probably tell from the design of this. It also does a cheeky apostrophe mishap (‘DJ’s’ not being a plural), but presumably that was a genuine mistake. Literacy hardly comes as standard in that sort of environment now, does it?

So the font and a bit of the blue colouring was pretty much all I could glean from the visuals, so the rest of it is my own interpretation of horrifying danceclub culture from the early Noughties era. I say ‘interpretation’…I did live through it and remember it well. Unfortunately. A blizzard of ‘futuristic’ fonts and garish swirls, set to a pummelling backdrop of Darude, ATB and Scooter. What a time to be alive. And kind of dead inside at the same time.

I’ve no idea what ‘Mumbo Jumbo’s never crumbles’ really means, but it is on one of the posters. I think either ‘Mumbles Jumbles never crumbles’ or ‘Mumbo Jumbo’s never crumbos’ work, but not what they wrote. Again, garbled nonsense from the club zone. All very accurate.