Luigi’s Fish ‘N’ Chip Emporium

For Madame, lobster a la Grecque. For Sir, a sausage and onion gravy sandwich on white bread with a glass of sterilised milk.

What you don’t get here is Gilbert the butler’s pronounciation of the letter N. Like ‘nuh’. Fish nuh Chip Emporium. In this one, Kryten finds an old film and develops it in a dark room and makes up some slides, yet later discovers that the fluid has mutated. Thus resulting in slides that are ‘alive’ when blown up on a projector. This enables the crew to effectively travel back in time and converse with the subjects within the confines of the original negative. All of which is pretty funny itself, given how archaic the photographical process was in the late 80s compared to even now, let alone when Red Dwarf was set (from around 2077 to sometime in the 23rd century, depending on what you’re watching / reading).

So go back in time they go, with Lister selfishly attempting to steal Rimmer’s former childhood school friend Fred ‘Thickie’ Holden’s ‘Tension Sheet’ invention* in an attempt to get out of his current plight (being stuck three million years into deep space with three people he hates). He is successful and a flashback shows him rich beyond belief. However, you can take Liverpool out of the man but etc., so he ends up helicopetering in the fine Scouse delicacy mentioned in the quote above from Luigi’s. It’s not exclusively Scouse though is it, really? Who doesn’t love a sausage sandwich? Idiots, that’s who.

The logo features a fish, a fish hook, a chip fork and the letter Is are dotted by pickled eggs. All staple features of any chip shop in Britain. Actually, I’m not sure I’ve ever bought a sausage sandwich from the chippy in over four decades of being alive.

Not eating meat for over half of that time has probably been a bit of a hindrance, tbf.

*The Tension Sheet is just bubble wrap in red with ‘Tension Sheet’ written on it. I could’ve done that as a t shirt but thought it was a bit too obvious.