Allesandro’s

Hand me those tomatoes, I’m gonna show you what it should taste like. Come on, hand me them. How long is this gonna take? Because I’ve got another critic to go yell at.

Let’s start with some spelling admin. Yes, Allesandro rather than the more common Alessandro (as in Del Piero, Nesta and many, many more). I’m not sure if the double L has anything to do with the fact that Allesandro himself is Lebanese, but that fact perhaps gives some indication as to why his marinara sauce is rubbish.

Monica Geller’s employment at the restaurant starts when she leaves them a terrible review and he comes round to her flat to berate her about it. She then cooks him some tomatoes the way they should be, leading to instant hiring and the dimissal of three current employees. You know, the sort of thing that wouldn’t happen in a million, possibly billion years. The ‘Bitch Quit‘ element here being courtesy of remaining employees, who take an instant dislike to her. Understandable, considering said sacked people are literal family members of said remaining employees (and anyone even moderately Italian would be likely to seriously consider murdering you if you looked at a member of their family wrong).

The logo has a helping hand from an Italian food manufacturer you probably should’ve heard of before. They’re famous for spreads, pasta sauce and all that usual Mediterranean jazz. I know technically that type of company isn’t really a restaurant but I couldn’t find a suitable Long Island establishment famous enough to formulate the basis of the design from. That’s not to say that those places don’t exist, but I’m largely ignorant to what are the biggest and best. And if I’m honest with you, I can really do without getting it wrong and then having the Mob on my back.

So there we have it. Friends is finally on the board. I will be diplomatic and say that I never thought this day would happen. Make of that what you will.